Little Red Gun

 

The National Rifle Association is missing a beat. Pitching home invasion as a premise for gun ownership only goes so far when you think of all those renters. The racial implications of a black president bent on background checks plays mostly in Southern climes. If the NRA really wants to broaden its base, it should take aim at the eternal battle of the sexes, and arm it.

Girls with GunsIt’s a gun owner’s fantasy in cold, hard steel. GunsForEveryone.com has been drooling over the possibilities in its portfolio of beautiful babes packing heat, and its promise that subscribers to its forum can “see the slutty/ier ones!” while the notion of plugging a jerk has crossed the mind of more than one woman.

Admit it.

Jody Arias not withstanding, are we to believe the potential of the female demographic is limited only to fantasy, posing in front of a seamless paper backdrop, and buyer's remorse?

No way. Head’s up, Wayne LaPierre. For self-defense or sexual prowess, the male-female dynamic is ripe for exploitation.

It’s no secret that lipstick itself is a phallic totem — the female equivalent of the symbolism sexually frustrated young men get from guns. If Colt, Luger and Beretta began turning out handguns in shades of lipstick red, the marketing potential would be huge.

The Daily Mail list of the 10 hottest red lipsticks takes you halfway there: L'Oreal Paris’ “Invincible Crimson Extreme” and Yes Mistress’  “Whipstick in Cherry’s Sissy Maid” are more than workable as shades designed to generate maximum market penetration.

guns-lipstickLipstick manufacturers, of course, are ignoring a huge market by not packaging their products in handgun-shaped dispensers, rather than mere cylindrical shafts. When a mere trigger pull could expel the crimson projectile, the results are all too predictable. seductively applied to the lips in the presence of a card-carrying NRA member. It’s an instant earnings-booster.

It’s time to make guns truly sexy, time for the NRA to target the eternal conflict between men and women. Cold dead hands versus hot, living glands? No contest.